Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy new year 2010

Resolution 2009 to 2010

Stop smoking check
Have boyfriend check (even have 2 and some fun :D at the same time)
Got my own money check
Doing travelling check 13 times with plane uncount with train and car
Lose some weight check it also because of my traveling using the bike and walk :D
Being in loved and falling in love :D
Find out about him check :( even not so happy with what I found
Just do some fun check
Wew it seems I really like this year :D

For 2010

Have more fun
Go home
Make my own money in serious way or start to build my carrier
Married
Make some family
Being nicer
keep my weight or lose some again
Make everyone I love proud of me
Can make everyone I love being happy
Keep it all the good thing I have in 2009
Throw all the bad I did :D


Happy new year 2010 everyone!!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

my last one week vacation to Stockholm this year :D

since I'm living in Denmark from the end of February this year I've been spending almost all my vacation going to Stockholm :) first the spring in April I'm going there using ryan air (it's so cheap!) and that's the first time I met the man that I always talking about in this blog lately :) after I'm back home from Sweden to Indonesia after 11 months we living so far away but strange the first time I saw him that time I really feel why I really like this man and in this my short vacation just for 4 days we decided that we don't have any relationship..

but on summer I come again I have 2 weeks vacation but I stay in his place for 10 days and that was the most great summer vacation even I found out something about him which is makes me disappointed :( but it's really nice summer it's makes our feeling strong again and it's so sad when I have to leave it's seems I can't let him go and after this summer vacation even he proposed me but I have so much doubt in my heart..

then I come again on fall vacation for a week again and this the worst one I found out his past,his present and maybe his future but in this vacation is the first time he said I love you to me and I really feel so happy but this vacation really really makes me cry a lot and decided to forget about him and going home and all the way to Denmark I'm crying even until 2 weeks or a month I really think that I can't stand if I can't joke with him again laughing his joke even it's not funny at all :p even fighting with him I don't know my emotional is really dominant this time even I know almost everything about him but it's still I can accept it everything then I decided to go to his place again to fix this to talk about it because I really want to know where's my position in his life..

so here I go last week I go up there again and just come back this morning and this the perfect week ever in my vacation up there,he take off for whole week and he always spend his time with me and he showed that he is in love with me and this time I can feel it that he is really in love with me and he told most of about his problem so I have to wait because he have so much problem at the moment and he have to finished all the things then he can be focus on me but my question can I wait?can I just stand by him and be patient how if the final result we still can't be together?we're not gonna be something?how if?how if?how if? it's too much question in my heart in head and I do hurting someone because of him and I can't stand it that one doesn't deserve it that I hurt that one so much it's really not fair for that one I know I'm so selfish I just using him as my bumper man if it's not working with him I know I still have someone but it's really not fair for that one so this time I have decided that I will let that one go forever and keep waiting for him until I found out that there's no way out for both of us or we going together I have to keep my faith there's nothing in this world can't be yours/mine everything in this world is God have it not me I have to learn that thing and believe it but for right now I have decided I keep faith on him but to see him happy it's makes me so happy and if he can be happy if he can be together with his family that's fine with me as long he's happy even I'm thinking that I really want to help him with all his problem I really want to solve it if I can maybe I will do it but now I'll try my best..oh my God yes I'm really in love with him so much don't know it's stupid or this the way the love it is

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

hi again

waaaaaaaaah long time not looking for my blog wew it's been a long time not writing here suddenly I kind a miss to write abut myself so I know in detail what happen in my life :)
surprise surprise now I'm in Denmark I've been here since last end of February oh my God 2009 it's almost done and I have so much something new now in my life but still with that man :( the one that I said enough maybe this time is the real time to said good bye hahaha I found so much thing about him which makes me think if I'm still with him it means I'm so stupid but yes I am I'm so stupid when I have to think with love :( uuugh
next since I'm in Denmark I think I get more mature I really know how to handle kids even the little one :) and now I'm good enough with cooking I can make any kind of "lebaran's meal" and I'm so proud with that and just today I make nastar and the taste so good :)
and since I'm here I lost almost 20 kg wew that's really proud of me :D
I would like to writing more and more but didn't have time for now have to wake up the little one and picking up the middle one :D
oh I have so much story why I'm so stupid forget about my blogg??uuuh :(

mojn :)